grandma love.

November 22, 2011

My mom left yesterday which was bitter sweet. I was sad to say goodbye, but excited to start using everything she taught me. Last night was Sydney and I's first night by ourselves since the first two nights after she came home from the hospital. Although not quite as successful as when my mom was here, she eventually slept around 2 in the morning. Her tired momma did too.

While I don't know all that much about motherhood yet, I feel privileged to be able to call myself a mom. Every night this past weekend my mom would tell me to go get some sleep. She would watch Sydney for the night, occasionally giving me a call when Sydney needed to nurse. As I watched my mom hold my little angel in her arms, I couldn't help but cry at times. She was so good at this. She was so good at sacrificing. Even 22 years later, she was still sacrificing for me; something as simple as letting her daughter sleep meant the world to me. The love she must have for me feels so real, maybe because I now know that kind of love. 

The journey to motherhood is not an easy one. It is full of sacrifice. For nine months your body changes dramatically to suit the needs of a growing infant. At the end of it all there is a culminating event that takes every ounce of mental and physical strength. But when they place that little one in your arms, the whole world stops. Everything hard and difficult is put away and a peaceful joy fills your heart. But it doesn't stop there. That feeling comes back in sweet moments every single day. I thank  my Heavenly Father every day for these moments. And I pray that I will be able to be the kind of mom my mother was and is to me.

Thank you mom for all you have given me. Thank you for all the tears you have shed for me and for every special moment you have shared with me. Your daughter and your little birdie love you. xoxo

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