confessions from a first time momma

January 25, 2012

Traveling with an infant, a milk loving infant, provides for some great memories. Sydney and I made our way to California for Christmas and more recently to watch daddy play in a tennis tournament. Let me tell you some entertaining and perhaps uncomfortable experiences we had together.

Flight number one: Syd plays angel. So cute in her travel gear. Sleeping like it's nobody's business. {Enter spanish speaking older fellow in the seat next to me}. He asks if I need help. He tried to tell me in broken english to cover her ears because of the noise. However, I don't understand. He tries again. I tell him Yo no se. He then thinks I speak spanish and starts rapidly firing words at me. All I can think is oh my goodness, what did I do? Baby starts crying. She's hungry. I can't just whip off my shirt and feed her on a plane. So, formula it is. I get the bottle. I start to pour water in, and spill the water all over myself. My spanish friend comes to the rescue. He pours in the entire water bottle (10 oz.) into the bottle. I try to explain I only need 4 oz. He doesn't understand. I try and show him and he starts to pour the water out of the bottle. He gets covered in water. Now we are twins. Don't mind the fact that Sydney is screaming at the top of her lungs and all the people on the plane think I am the worst mom ever. So we (my spanish friend and I) finally get the right amount of water. I go to scoop some formula into the bottle and failed. A little turbulence made it so all that precious formula landed all over my nice black pants. So my friend decides to help and starts brushing formula off my leg. I feel awkward. Sydney feels hungry. People on plane feel angry. I try again with another scoop, this time spilling all over his nice leather jacket. {whoops!} Eventually, we get the formula in the bottle and Sydney pretends she wasn't just screaming for fifteen minutes and happily eats. Lesson learned: prepare bottles ahead of plane ride. 

Flight number two: Syd does not play angel. Since arriving at the airport kind of late and rushing to our gate, sneaking in a bite to eat, and using the restroom, I didn't have time to change her diaper. I try to fix this issue in the plane restroom. Easier said than done in such a tight little space. I return to seat, Sydney still not happy. I am in the middle this time. Between two older married people, who like to sit in their favorite seats {one window, one isle}. However, they forgot I was the lucky one in the middle and continually talked over me, reached over me, and completely ignored that I was trying to get my little girl to sleep. Don't worry, it gets better. I slowly come to realize my boobs are burning. {aka my milk is coming in {{crying baby doesn't help}}}. I still have an hour to go on this plane ride and there is no way in heck I can pump on a plane. I just keep hoping that the bright purple running jacket I am wearing is nice to me. No such luck. The man next to me is focusing on my chest. I think to myself, what the heck.. no man has ever looked at me like that. In all honesty, we all know why. I start to feel embarrassed because he is being so blatantly obvious. Oh reality check! I look down and see some beautifully, large, round milk stains on my jacket. I want to cry. I can't believe this is happening to me. He sees my absolute horror and asks if he can get me anything to "clean up the spill." He doesn't get it I think. So I try to explain... fail. Why Jessica. Why. I tell him, I just got to the airport late and rushed to get on the plane, had so much to carry and just forgot and its not easy to do in an airport bathroom and I just I am so sorry you have to see me like this, and I ... Stop. Man suddenly realizes whats going on, and he laughs. I try to just smile. This is unbelievable. Lesson number two: Pump, breastfeed, whatever you need to before you get on plane, or at least wear a loose black shirt!

I learned a lot this trip. I hope you did too!



  1. WOW! Had no idea! I learned these types of things the hard way, too! You NEVER forget!

  2. Oh man... what a nightmare at the time, but hilarious now! :) Thanks for the tips... I will do my best to remember these.

  3. I had that happen once too, so not fun! That picture is so cute:)

  4. This is hysterical. I may have to start blog stalking you now. Your writing is hilarious. (Isn't it great how blogging can make the worst moments EVER seem fun?)