confessions from a first time momma

May 4, 2012


Post baby love is special and amazing. I am sure many couples have never felt closer. But you will soon notice your love is different and unique. It requires more effort with a new addition in the family. Same principles as before, just learning to manifest them in a different way! 
Here are some things we've learned. 

/her
1. Kiss & Cuddle. Let's be honest, you're not going to be having 'real lovin' for weeks/months after you deliver. That is why it is so important to one, get some 'real lovin' in before you deliver and two, get back to your roots of kissing & cuddling. Really and I mean this, I loved putting the 'real lovin' on hold. It was like we were dating again and a little bit of that innocence returned. And have some humor - I am pretty sure let downs are not the most attractive thing when you are trying to get it on, but hey there is nothing you can do! Once you're clear to resume all activity, take it slow and be patient - you just had a baby! You will be back to normal soon enough.
2. Remember your best friend. This is a time where all you think and do involves your baby (which is amazing). As easy as it is to fall in love with your baby every single second, there is a man waiting for some attention too. Your marriage is still, if not more, important now that there is a baby in the family. Something that worked for me was trying to appreciate every time my husband did something fatherly- this helped me fall in love with him all over again too. So even though your life is your baby, once a few weeks have passed (and you have the hang of things) really try to make an effort to do special things for your husband. Get back to those routines, relationships post baby are harder to maintain, but even more fulfilling as you appreciate your new roles. Remember you are best friends!
3. Get dressed. Sounds obvious, but I didn't learn this one until after maybe two months... get your self dressed and all dolled up at least once a week if not more. I personally try to do four days a week. Like get really ready those days - the other three are just shower and throw my hair in a bun days. Everyone is different, but I felt so much better about my self, my husband was able to see I still wanted to impress him, and somehow you get more accomplished if you get ready! I know it is weird logic, but really, it works. The more I get done, the happier I am, the happier my husband is. 
4. Communicate and appreciate. There is no happiness in my marriage if we don't communicate. I found this to be even more important after we had Sydney. Tell your husband everything! {how you feel about sexual intimacy, how much you love him, how you feel about your new baby and your marriage, what you need help with, what your concerns are, etc.} Appreciate his feelings as well {this means his sexual feelings too}. Appreciate all the things he does to help even if they are minor in comparison to what you are doing with the baby. Respect and appreciate your husband with your heart, head, and hands. I promise communicating and appreciating are perhaps the most important things to do post baby because of the exhaustion/major life changes you are both experiencing. 
5. GO ON SOME DATES. This was difficult for me to do at first because I really didn't want to leave Sydney with just anyone. Thankfully we have some family near us and close friends that I knew would take care of my little girl. This may sound bad, but time away from the baby is good for you and your husband. Wait until you feel ready, but don't be afraid just to spend a few hours together- just you and him. Even if it means planning an "indoor" date at the house when the baby goes to sleep, do it! This allows you time together and really helps you to reconnect. Have a good conversation, be spontaneous, and just enjoy each other's company. 

{Just so you know- this is exactly what I thought my husband would do (king of one word answers) BUT as simple as they are, I appreciate his effort (haha) and couldn't agree more. 

/his
1. Spend time together
2. Serve her
3. Be patient
4. Tell her she is beautiful
5. Love your baby

Don't forget to check out Tracie's post here
PS. What are your thoughts? Any suggestions from your experience?

2 comments:

  1. Bahaha! E was giving one word answers too! I love what you said about getting dressed. E totally notices when I make a little effort to get out of my PJs and put on make-up!

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  2. I cannot tell you how much I love this post. We have only had Annie for two weeks now and I can already feel our us time slipping away. Great suggestions!

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